I Just Remembered

This morning in the shower, I remembered alternate "Here Comes the Bride" lyrics that I used to sing in grade school. (This is one of the many reasons I won't be walking down the aisle to that tune!)

"Here comes the bride, all dressed in white

Where is the groom? In the ladies' room."

When I was a kid, I thought that song was hysterical because I thought it referenced a bathroom. And we all know that bathrooms are hilarious.

Now I'm wondering if the groom was up to something shadier. Was he pulling a Tiger Woods/Matthew Fox/Mark Sanford/Most Male Actors in Hollywood? Why exactly was he in the ladies room?

We also have the ever popular:

"Here comes the bride, fair, fat and wide

here comes the groom, skinny as a broom

here comes the usher, the old toilet flusher"

This is why I can't have this march played. I'd up singing alternative lyrics as I walked down the aisle. And no one wants to see that!

I'm already going to have to concentrate hard on not tripping. I've tripped during every major moment in my life -- graduations, job interviews, etc. I don't really want to be the gal who takes a spill during the ceremony. That would be a terrible you tube video. I don't think they bring you on the Today Show for that!