On the very first page, the heroine described writing - and it fit so perfectly with why I blog, that I had to include it here.
So I've started writing again. It passes the time. No, I'll be honest, it does more than that. It gets stuff out of my head and heart and puts it on paper. That doesn't mean it's no longer in my head and heart. It's still there. But once I've written about it, seems like there's more room inside me again. More room for other things. -- "The Dead of Night" by John Marsden.
I especially liked that passage because people sometimes think specific posts are about them -- and, to be honest, sometimes they're right. But it's never really just about them - it's mostly about me. What I'm thinking, how I'm feeling -- good or bad -- it's all preserved right here. And it's preserved for all of the reasons listed above. Better out than in.
And Now for the Rest of the Story
Men, you can stop reading right now. I can guarantee the rest of the entry is going to completely gross you out. (Actually, the easily squeamish should also stop reading right now.)
After nearly a decade on the birth control pill, I've finally stopped using it just in case I feel like getting knocked up anytime soon. I thought being off the pill would be great -- I'd have no chemicals in my system, I'd be in tune with my "natural cycle" -- all that kumbaya shit.
I've since learned that my natural cycle sucks.
Let's start with ovulation. Seems pretty innocuous, right? No - it's painful. I got puffy & cranky with annoying food cravings. And cramps - I had cramps! It was a miserable couple of days.
Now, I'm experiencing rampant PMS. I swear I've turned into a flipping psycho. On Wednesday, I kept bursting into tears for no reason whatsoever. Yesterday, I was insanely anxious. Today, I'm exhausted. To top things off, I feel like a giant, greasy, zitty, blueberry -- all puffy and gross. And I haven't had cramps in 10 years --or if I did, they weren't like the ones I have now. THEY SUCK!
To top things off, the rest of my "natural cycle" isn't that great either. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster - happy, sad, anxious, angry, upset. Just roll the dice and one of the five will come up.
My hope is this is just an extreme reaction and my body will settle into a natural routine pretty soon. Preferably one that is calm, serene and zen-like. Because if this is what it's always like....well, I don't know how you ladies do it!