Embracing My Inner Cheerleader

I took a turbo jam class at my gym. It was supposed to be some type of kickboxing. It was some type of crap. I thought it would be one small step toward my goal of being able to throw people down on the ground like Jennifer Garner in Alias. I'd learn all these kickboxing moves that would instantly transform into karate moves when confronted by a criminal.

Yeah right. After that class, all I could do to a criminal would be California Raisin him to death. You know that annoying California Raisin move where you put your hands in front of you and spin them around in a circle? We did that. A lot.

There were also lots of straight arm motions and bend & snaps. I felt like I was doing one of those cheesy junior high cheerleader dance routines - where the cheerleaders danced to a blaring boombox that featured songs recorded from the radio. (Kiddies, boomboxes are portable cassette players that were very popular in the 80s and 90s).

Ugh. How on earth am I supposed to kickbox people to death if we never learn any cool moves?