I Hate Boys

So Bachelor #6 sends me an email tonight and says although he had a great time, he "didn't feel the chemistry he was hoping for" and this "wasn't going to work for him."

I am so tempted to write back to him and tell him he might have better luck if he found someone with a penis.

What the heck is he even talking about? What kind of chemistry are you supposed to feel on a first date? First dates are all about wondering if you have food in your teeth and if you're talking too much and whether the other person has any kind of personality whatsoever. I haven't found any of my six bachelors to be wildly exciting, but I would have been willing to go out with them a second time to make sure.

Chemistry? What Chemistry?

If anyone wasn't feeling the chemistry, it was me not feeling it with him. He was short and chubby and looked like a troll or a hobbit of some sort. He was wearing button-fly, acid-washed jeans that (I think) were unbuttoned for most of the evening and he was wearing an ugly baby-blue striped shirt with a butterfly collar. And there was also the fact that he seemed to be a homosexual, which is fine for him but a definite deal-breaker for me.

Sadly, I was willing to overlook his hobbitness because I thought he was funny and had a nice personality and that he could grow on me. Like a fungus. I'm trying not to be superficial. I want to really give guys a chance no matter what my first impression is. Unless they resemble a child molester. Then they don't get another chance.

Why I Don't Understand Men

If Hobbit Man was having such a terrible time, why did he want to go see a movie after we were done miniature golfing? That was all his idea and it extended the date by another 3 hours. We would've been done at 9 p.m. I could have had 3 extra hours to do something radically exciting (OK - I would've gone to bed but my sleep-deprived self finds that very exciting.)

It's not that I care because I feel some unrequited lust - I just think it's not a very effective way to date. If you don't like someone, don't pretend like you do. This is why I think the Veto Card would be a great idea. I'm way too busy for this bullshit!