My favorite, Paris Hilton, is once again in the news. These stories are way too good to pass up!
#1 - Paris Hilton's Bed Goes Up For Bid - Let's all say it together: Ew. This is Paris' used bed and mattress. Does the bid include the antibacterial agents you'll need to soak the bed in or maybe some sassy plastic wrap? I don't think I'd touch that disgusting thing with even my pinky finger. I'd rather buy a used bed from the Hilton hotel chain - and we've all seen Dateline - so we know what's on those!
#2 - Paris Says New Album is So Good, 'I, like, cry' - I cried too - but for a completely different reason. To be fair, her new song is brainless mind fluff. Unfortunately, it's so overly synthesized, you can tell she has no talent whatsoever. Click here to hear clips from her album - courtesey of Wal-Mart. I promise you - you'll cry! (Side note: Paris says the baby voice she uses on A Simple Life is not her real voice. Amazingly, her singing voice sounds exactly the same as her Simple Life voice. Do you think she secretly sounds like Bea Arthur?)