I Really Am Calamity Jane

Yes, Calamity Jane has struck again. My department head gave me that nickname since I'm always spilling things, dropping things and tripping over things. It's very flattering - definitely adds to my promotability factor.

In my latest 'big drama moment,' I managed to lose the department pager. I was on call last night and went exactly two places - to the library and to pay my rent. Somehow the clipped-on pager flew off my pants without my knowledge when I was traveling from my desk at work to one of those two places. Apparently, I'm the only person EVER in my department to do that.

Let's take a look at some of my other shining moments:

• Tripped at my high school graduation and slid across stage where I was caught by my superintendent
• Sat on my trumpet, bending it to the point of needing repair (As I was not a small teenager, this was particularly embarrassing)
• Drove my car into a drive-up ATM when checking out a cute boy
• Lost the master key to all the buildings at Otterbein College
• Locked my credit cards, debit card, cell phone, checkbook and both sets of car keys in my trunk
• Locked my keys in the car while it was running...four times
• Lost my employee ID three times
• Dropped my pager from a different job on my way home from work where it was promptly run over by a bus
• Fell in the middle of a busy downtown intersection - while carrying a big box of papers, while wearing a skirt that flipped over my head, all in front of a bunch of middle schoolers on a field trip
• Failed my driver's test three times (darn parallel parking)
• Went with friends to spy on a boy's house in high school (come on, we all did it!), only to have his mother come home, pull in front of us and start taking groceries in.
• Decided to do a scientific experiment from science class where we evaporated salt water and had salt remaining in the bottom of the cup. Only, I used a plastic cup. (I was only 7!)
• Accidentally shut our 3-month old cocker spaniel puppy in the bottom part of our reclining chair (the foot rest that goes out and back in.) I was 12 and she was fine -- in fact, she died last year when I was 29 so she definitely lived a long life!
• Had to take my former guinea pig to the vet after he leaped off my lap to get away from me and broke his leg. (They had to put a cast on his little guinea pig leg). He was never the same after that. Sadly, I was 23.

That's all I can think of at the moment, but I know there are many, many, many, many more. If you can think of any I've forgotten, let me know. And if you have your own tales of woe, please share. It'll make feel a little less like a jackass!