Friday, March 30, 2007

Eeek! My Butt's GINORMOUS!

I gained 5 pounds last week...5 lbs! That's ridiculous. There's absolutely no need for me to have eaten all that crap. In fact, I now look a great deal like the photo to the right of Violet from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory after she turns into a blueberry.

Luckily, my work schedule will be somewhat normal for awhile, so I'll have plenty of time to do some quick shrinkage. I definitely need to, because my pants aren't fitting right now and I prefer to be clothed at work. My co-workers prefer that as well.

I bought lots of fruits and veggies and I plan to eat them - as soon as I finish the pizza I ordered on Wednesday because there was no food in my apartment. Normally, I would've gotten healthy food and skipped the pizza, but my brakes were dying on my car and I couldn't drive until I got them fixed so dinner needed to come to me. (Apparently my rotors were rusty and needed buffing. Doesn't that sound dirty? Come over here and buff my rotors baby...)

Horrifying News

I learned part of what contributed to my current fat-ass state -- the Chocolate Banana Cream Stuffed Hotcakes I ordered at Bob Evans after my St. Patrick's Day outing. Luckily, I could only eat half. Had I eaten the whole thing, I would have consumed about 1500 calories and 60 grams of fat. Yikes! That's more than I'm supposed to eat in one day...let alone one meal.

Click here if you want to be horrified by things you might have ordered at restaurants. My doctor told me to never eat out if I want to lose weight and she was right! Thank goodness for Hungry Girl - even though I'm bitter because she didn't hire me or even consider me to be a writer for her newsletter.

A Bit of Backpedaling

I'm totally not meaning to slam my co-worker Maxine...she can't help having a personality that irritates me. And quite frankly, spending 72 hours in a little room with someone who annoys you is a lot to take. So, she probably isn't as bad as I'm making her out to be. But we all need a little outlet to vent, right? This is mine! As is apparently the gigantic feedbag I've strapped to my face...

Got 25K Sitting Around? Buy Some Art!

If you like the crazy art featured in Heroes (and you're rich), you can buy it. Click here to join the online auction. Proceeds go to The Epilepsy Foundation because Greg Grunberg's son has epilepsy. Greg played Eric Weiss on Alias (one of my favorite characters) and plays the thought-hearing cop guy on Heroes.


Lisa said...

When did you apply to be a writer for HG, oh bitter one? Send your resume to along with some HG writing samples. -Lisa

Anonymous said...

Ms Lisa,
If Ms Eljabo is writing for you than you would have at least 1 more regular reader …the girl cracks me up!