Friday, May 18, 2007

What Not to Wear: Working Out Edition

Yes, I realize I'm not necessarily the fashion police, but there are some basic items women should avoid wearing or not wearing when working out and I'm here to share them with you:

  • White Stretch Pants With No Underwear - I realize I shouldn't even have to say this one. Going underwearless at the gym is completely disgusting. The place is a cesspool of germs. Imagine my horror when I spotted an overly tan young woman bent over, doing rows with her booty facing the window so everyone walking by had to look at her ass.

    To make a bad situation worse, she was wearing skin-tight, white stretch pants with no underwear whatsoever. None. Granted, she could've been wearing a thong - I didn't get that close to examine - but I honestly doubt she could've fit another item of clothing under those pants. That's how tight they were. I screamed 'My Eyes!' and bolted to my car. (Not really, but isn't it funny to imagine me doing that?)

  • How 'Bout No Pants? -- Again, I really shouldn't have to say this one. You'd think in general, people would wear pants in public. Guess again. I audited a bellydancing class last night since I missed mine this week. I went to the weird girl class I was supposed to transfer into but luckily managed to avoid. I realize that ballerinas sometimes wear leotards with tights and nothing else. However, leotards in general cover the booty/hoo-hoo area - no problemo.

    One of the ladies in the bellydancing class kind of followed that concept, but missed the point. She was wearing a white long sleeved shirt - something I'd wear to the mall or out shopping, not fitness apparel - with black tights. And no pants. Granted, she had a hip scarf on, so the danger zones were mostly covered. However, this woman was not exactly someone who should be running around pantless. Really, no one should ever be out in public without pants. Not even the hottest people on earth. I wasn't really sure where to look for pretty much the whole class...especially considering the next fashion sinner.

  • Long Floral Dresses -- Yet another example from the weird girl bellydancing class. (Thank goodness I'm not in it!) A woman with the biggest boobs I've ever seen was wearing a long floral print sheath dress. It was cut very straight - looked like something you'd wear to church or work, provided you covered up the ginormous boobs that were hanging out of the top. (Unlike this chica, who looked like she had giant watermelons stuffed into a ziploc snack bag.)

    In bellydancing, we do most of our work with our knees bent so we can get more hip action going on. How uncomfortable it must be to try to move your hips around and get them stuck in a big, long, tight dress. Ick.

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