Egads! There are two living in the building across from me (near the dumpster that had the clarinet-off earlier this summer.)
I feel like I've been bamboozled. All this time, I was convinced they were used car salesmen. They wore white, button-down shirts with skinny, colorful ties. They wore their lightly-slicked hair in a smooth swirl. With cherubic rosy cheeks and "I drink milk straight from the cow" complexions, they looked like two grown-up, non-Menacy Dennises.
The other day I saw them accosting two Hispanic guys in my parking lot. When I saw the book in Dennis #1's hands, I also saw the light. No more used car salesmen mistaken identities.
Then I realized they're going to try to convert us all, one heathen at a time. I'm betting they're Jehovah's Witnesses - but I guess they could be some other religion. I lived next door to a Jehovah's Witness in my old apartment and she tried to convert me in my parking lot. (Also she hung religious paraphernalia from my doorknob, which completely creeped me out...or was it her doorknob? Either way...I was creeped!)
I need to prepare my standard Jehovah's Witness-avoiding answer (otherwise I'll get sucked into joining their church because 'I'm just a girl who cain't say no') - except I can't remember what it is. What do you tell them to get them to leave you alone? Should I suggest we have a threesome? Would that get rid of them?