Wednesday, September 19, 2007

When Fashion Is a Crime

Granted, I'm not a huge fan of seeing up-close-and-personal whether some random dude's wearing boxers, briefs, or going commando. (yikes!) On the other hand, I'm not sure that towns should be passing laws against it. Shouldn't they be more focused on crime and homelessness and people who park motorcycles in car spots in the parking lot.

The truth is, saggy drawers are kind of funny. The other day I saw some guy hobbling across the road holding up his pants with one hand. As soon as I passed him, he dropped the pants, revealing a good portion of his booty. (Apparently, he was in the commando camp.) If this had been banned, I would have missed one of the whitest behinds I've ever seen. (Of course, I can't really check out my own - mine might be worse!)

More importantly, what's next? Will we be banning mullets or big, brickwall bangs or people who go underwearless at the gym? There are a host of fashion crimes I'd like to see banned - but since I probably commit several myself, I don't particularly want to be ticketed for crimes of fashion. It just seems like a waste of time!

My Stripper Name

I just took one of those random stripper name tests. I'm Sapphire Glitter Hiney. That's right. Maybe I should change my permanent name. I'm sure as Sapphire Glitter Hiney, I can really get ahead in the world!

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