Saggy Baggy (Elephant) Butt

OK - I'm not talking about my personal butt (although it has its moments.) I'm morphing one of my favorite childhood Little Golden Books, The Saggy Baggy Elephant, with my recent (as in this morning) pants experience.

You may be wondering what they have to do with each other. Sadly, most of my clothes are too big for me but I don't want to buy new ones until I reach my goal weight. (It'd be easier if I stopped going to happy hours where I drink large draft beers and eat big platefuls of fish and chips.)

I make fun of guys who wear pants that are way too low - I've seen more neighborhood butt crack than anyone should see. I've learned that if you make fun of someone, what you're making fun eventually happens to you. (It's called karma and it's a bitch!)

As I did my morning trot around my neighborhood (1.9 miles, thank you very much), my pants were so loose, they started to fall down. I managed to grab them before they reached the danger zone, although there were quite a few perilous moments. For most of my run, I held my pants up with one hand and my mp3 player with the other.

I guess I should probably buy smaller sweat pants.

On a sad note, I realized that although I no longer remember the periodic table, basic geography or most of what I learned in Spanish 3, I can still sing every word of Young M.C.'s Bust a Move.