Thursday, November 29, 2007

Um...Yeah, That's Pretty Gross!

As much as I love to bitch about my job, there are times when I realize other people have it worse. My friend, Jane Doe, is a high school French teacher - and I have to say, I'm glad I don't have her job. Although, I think she's equally glad she doesn't have mine!

Today, she shared tales of substitute teachers. Apparently she booked one for a couple of days and the lady was a little odd.

The sub is well in her 50s and apparently has a big crush on Josh Groban. (Although I don't think this is as uncommon as we would like to believe.)

The first thing she does in the classroom is hang laminated Josh Groban pictures all over the blackboard. The second thing she does is make the high school students listen to a song Josh Groban sings in French.

The very worst thing she does is announce that when she last saw Josh Groban in concert his shirt came out of his jeans and she saw his 'happy trail.' Now to be honest, it's sheer dumb luck that I even know what that is. If I happen to see a shirtless man, I'm usually thinking about a myriad of other things - not his 'happy trail.' And it's certainly not something I would announce in front of a bunch of high school students.

Tomorrow, poor Jane Doe has to go talk to her principal about this, which means she has to use 'happy trail' and 'Josh Groban' in the same sentence. Really, why would you want to bring up either of those phrases in conversation?

To make matters worse, I googled 'happy trail' and 'Josh Groban' to see what appeared. Sadly, there are entire websites dedicated to, as Jane Doe put it, "the trail of hair leading to Josh Groban's nether regions." (I just wanted to use the word nether regions in a sentence!) In fact there is an array of fan fiction that offers up some steamy imaginary tales about Josh Groban and his nether regions.

I know I read smutty romance novels once in awhile, but somehow it's really creepy when it involves housewives and Josh Groban. Ick.

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