Boo...Hiss!

My plans to follow the New Kids on the Block around like the Grateful Dead this fall are now kaput, unless I win the lottery.

When you heard NKOTB was getting back together, you probably didn't realize it was equivalent to the Second Coming. My fun and girlish nostalgia is ACTUALLY a religious experience for some peeps.

NKOTB may not be good dancers or singers and their new music may suck royally...but they still know how to make a buck! I wonder if they'll be selling NKOTB walkers at the concert instead of buttons and T-shirts. (I'm making fun of myself too - they're not the only ones who got older!)

Tickets in Detroit are $78, $58 and $38, plus a $10 "convenience" fee per ticket. (Whose convenience? Certainly not mine!) In Cleveland, they're $68 (and something cheaper) with a $9.50 "convenience" fee per ticket. (Cleveland must not be as convenient as Detroit.)

This is going to be put a serious crimp in my cocktail fund. I was hoping they'd come out with a series of New Kids cocktails - like the Sex and The City girl beverages that just came out.

In my imagination, we'd have the:

• Danny Wood - a sporty blend of tequila, gin, rum & vodka with a beer chaser
• Jordan Knight - a tropical blend of Tang, Hawaiian Punch & vodka
• Joey Joe - melted down cotton candy mixed with tequila and topped with whipped cream
• Shy Jon - grape juice mixed with grain alcohol
• Big Donnie - a blend of Guinness, Harp, Bud Light and Natural Light that is lit on fire before it is served (in honor of his pyromaniac days)

Oh well, I'll just have sneak in a flask since I'll be spending more than a tank of gas on these tickets!

You know, back in their heyday, New Kids tickets were only $30 or $40. Of course, now that they're getting older, they undoubtedly have more expenses. After all, Viagra and Aspercreme doesn't grow on trees!

Anyone know where a woman can find a pair of acid-washed jean overalls? I need an outfit for the concert. I'm hoping to leave one strap dangling... and I'm already working on my rat tail!