My New Home

I've decided to move to Arizona. Last week, I was in Phoenix. It was absolutely beautiful and so incredibly warm. If I lived there, I'd never have to beat my car with an ice scraper hoping the ice would fall off. I'd drink margaritas every day and visit psychics. It'd be fabulous.

We stayed at the swanky Arizona Biltmore Resort and Spa. My room was really nice - I had a balcony overlooking the gardens (except I almost got hit in the head by a bat - the flying ones, not the swinging ones.)

My only mishap was in the Fitness Center. I woke up at 5 a.m. rarin' to go. (Darn time zone changes!) I ran on the treadmill and lifted some weights, trying to (unsuccessfully) burn off the cheeseburger and fries I ate. Afterward, I showered in the women's locker room because they had all these fabulous body scrubs and hair products.

I cut my leg shaving. You would think after 21 years of shaving my legs, I could manage to do it without hitting a major artery, but sadly, you'd be thinking wrong. I'm in a hoity-toity spa locker room, dripping blood everywhere. It was so embarrassing!

After I stopped the blood, I was standing around in my towel because I wanted to use their lotion. My room came equipped with two conditioners - no lotion. An employee comes in and stands right in front of the mirror (and lotion) primping. I had to wait for her to leave because there's no way I'm putting on lotion in front of her. I'm not really a 'be naked in front of strangers' kind of girl and I suspected some part of the towel would fall if I tried to hold on to it AND put on the lotion. After 10 minutes she left - enough time for my leg to start bleeding again. It was all very traumatic.