Thursday, August 27, 2009

A Letter to Columbus Women

Dear Women of Columbus,

Please stop wearing leggings with really long shirts, particularly at the Kroger on Polaris Parkway. We're not fooled - leggings don't count as pants and that shirt isn't really a dress. When you bend over, we can see your hoo-hoo and we don't want to. We don't care if Lindsay Lohan and the Olsen twins wear leggings. They are not exactly good role models; their bodies look like lollipops.

Please wear pants or shorts with all long tops or wear leggings with dresses that come down to mid-thigh (not shirts that barely cover your behind) and never, ever, EVER wear leggings with crop tops.

Also on the discard list:

  • Acid-washed denim
  • Bulky plaid shirts
  • "Boyfriend" blazers
  • Pegged jeans
We have already worn all of these items and can guarantee that they do not look good on anyone. In fact, we went through our high school careers looking like lesbian lumberjacks thanks to the grunge era. Please don't make the same mistake.


Anonymous said...

Can I make a bid to keep super soft plaid flannel shirts in the "okay-to-wear" list?

Anonymous said...

Let'em it will make us 30-uh um something look better!

Eljabo said...

I'm down with flannel - I'm just not a fan of the with the crazy bright plaid shirts that I wore in the 6th grade. They are usually one color (like blue or pink) and black.

Anonymous said...

okay. I left that "anonymous" comment so as to not be identified should you totally disagree with me. but now that you're down with non-neon flannel, I feel safe.
Love your blog!
~Jen G