My Weekend of Sloth

With my 33rd birthday fast approaching (as in it's tomorrow), all I can think about is how I'm starting to resemble a moldy piece of cheese. Before you start fretting that I have a skin condition, I mean that I feel old on the outside and young on the inside. (With moldy cheese, you can cut away the moldy outside and enjoy the non-moldy deliciousness of the inside. OK, I'm actually petrified of mold so I've never done that but I've heard of people who have done that before.)

Do we ever feel like our insides match our outsides? I swear I'm still 12 inside my body.

Friday: I Love the Nightlife

I joined Vicki, Kelly and Steph for a Girls' Night Out on Friday. After hitting Abuelo's for dinner and margaritas (some of us only ate guacamole and pinto beans for dinner - I will not name names), we went to Martini Park for dancing and martinis (strawberry basil and coconut martinis - yum!) At one point, we did shots. Let me tell you ... age may be a state of mind, but my state of mind is too old for shots.

Martini Park's claim to fame is that it's a bar for grown-ups. They aren't kidding; the clientele is quite grown up. There's nothing more disturbing than seeing peeps your parents' age grinding and sucking face on the dance floor. Plus, I've never seen so much elderly boobage in my life -- those cougars certainly like to show off the girls!

After falling asleep at 1:45 a.m. with all my bedroom lights on, I woke to the delightful sounds of Zoe puking or coughing up a hairball or something equally great like that. There's nothing like the sounds of a vomiting cat to spur your intoxicated arse into action.

At 6 a.m. the cats decided it was morning. After cursing loudly for a few minutes, I noticed the light above my oven was on. I had no clue how it got that way, so briefly entertained the idea that someone broke into my apartment in the middle of the night solely to turn the light on and freak me out. Then I remembered the martinis, vomit and mad carpet cleaning. Apparently I turned on the light when I cleaned up the carpet and forgot to turn it off. Mystery solved!

Saturday: The Non-Starter

I was supposed to go with Vicki, Kelly, Stephanie, Angela and Angela's mom to IKEA in Cincinnati. At 8:30 a.m., Vicki picked me up for the Biggard Breakfast Bonanza. Herb kindly put his breakfast cooking skills to work for us - we had Belgian waffles with fruit and whipped cream, hash browns, bacon, sausage and coffee. Everything was delish!

Sadly, we only managed the breakfast - no car trip. Between hangovers, oversleeping and queasy tummies, it seemed best to wait and shop another day.

I spent Saturday being a sloth. I watched five episodes of the first season of the new 90210. It's cracking me up for some reason -- all that drama! Simon came over at night and we hit the Texas Roadhouse for dinner then came back to my place to watch a boxing show on HBO. (Well, he watched boxing - I used his laptop to mess around with my bimbo and take the 'Which Battlestar Galactica Character Are You?' quiz. I'm Laura Roslin. My presidential qualities are shining through - ha ha!)

Sunday: Back to Normal; Still Sloth-Like

On Sunday, I made blueberry cornmeal pancakes and cinnamon hazelnut coffee. My parents, brother and grandmother all came to town to have dinner with Simon and me at The Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. I LOVE The Cheesecake Factory and seeing the fam. Plus, lemon raspberry cheesecake is yummy! Simon and I spent the rest of the evening digesting our food and watching True Blood. It's by far the best show on tv!