Tuesday, August 04, 2009

No Wonder I Wake Up Tired

I spent the whole night being chased by bad guys! At one point, I hid under a little kid's bed and was, of course, caught by a creepy bad guy. He shot at me and I jumped out the window to escape. I spent a lot of time hiding from police (maybe they were in on it?) and trying to find fake identification.

I needed to rescue two little girls so I rented a giant blue Cadillac ('cause when you're on the run, you should definitely be renting giant blue cars.) I drove the kids around snowy, hilly roads in Pittsburgh, trying to decide whether to go to Maine or North Carolina. Suddenly, a bad guy started chasing me on a bicycle (a pedal bicycle, not a motorcycle.) I went into evasion mode and swerved all over the streets.

At that point, my alarm went off so I didn't get to see how it ended. I like to think I would've escaped the bicyclist and headed to North Carolina without a scratch on my rented Cadillac.

I swear I didn't get any sleep at all. That will teach me to watch creepy vampire shows before bed. (I Netflixed the Canadian TV series 'Blood Ties,' which is a crime drama featuring a private investigator who has to team up with a vampire. I realize Netflix isn't really a verb, but after my night on the lam, I think it should be.)

Part of my sleep trauma was caused by my cat Daphne. On Sunday night, she slept right next to me for the entire night. She was like a 14 pound heater - I thought I was going to die. Last night she was jumping all over the place, batting at things. I kicked her out, which meant she sat outside my door, meowed all night and tried to scratch her way in. That was relaxing.

Let me tell you, I'm so excited to start my day. I feel like I'm in a coma! Actually, it feels like I'm surrounded by jello. It's so much harder to do everything.

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