Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Ladies, Just Sit on the Dang Seat!

Earlier today, I went to the bathroom at work and found that someone had peed all over the seat. Sadly, that will continue to be a common occurrence until women stop hovering in mid-air in order to prevent any part of their body from actually touching the seat. Sadly, this results in the woman peeing on the seat (we can't aim and we don't carry funnels) and she usually doesn't clean it up.

I know sitting on the seat is a hard habit to start. One of my first public restroom memories was of my mom showing me how to cover the seat with toilet paper before sitting on it.

I gave up on TPing the seat years ago. Who has time for that? When you've got to go, you've got to go!

Nowadays, I sit on the actual seat. (Unless someone has peed on it -- then I find another seat to sit on.)

Here's the deal - I've never caught any diseases from a toilet seat. In fact, I don't know a single person who has caught any diseases from a toilet seat. I think that's a lie 16-year-old girls make up to tell their mothers. "I don't know how I got gonorrhea -- maybe from the girls' room at school?"

Let's have a Sit-On! Doesn't it sound grand? No more balancing in mid-air, gripping the sides of the wall, hoping you don't pee on your leg.

If you absolutely MUST hover in mid-air, let's remember the wise words I once read in a Howard Johnson's bathroom:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

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