I keep waiting to develop grace

Although according to a Seinfeld episode, you either have grace or you don't. There's no halfway. Based on my activities today, I say I don't. Granted, I'm not at my best in the mornings. I'm groggy & uncaffeinated. I have to find clothes to wear...usually something with heels and pantyhose. (and yes, I could pick out my clothes the night before, but I don't)

This morning, I managed to slice off a chunk of my middle finger with a triple blade razor and I dumped half a cup of coffee on my khaki pants. I guess that's the danger of reaching into my suitcase to get toiletries while my eyes are half shut. Apparently the cap on my razor had fallen off during the flight home yesterday and the razor attacked my finger when I reached in. The coffee...well somehow I managed to put two lids on my cup without realizing it, which led to a great deal of spillage. I should keep a change of clothes in my desk. Next to my box of light microwave popcorn. Or maybe I should start wearing an apron.

Why It Sucks to be a Hypochondriac Nowadays

• L.A. woman diagnosed with bubonic plague
• More than 1,000 mumps cases in Midwest

Bubonic plague? Mumps? I had crossed those off my list of things to worry about (and considering the length of my list, the more items I can keep off, the happier I am). Could you imagine trying to explain to your boss that you couldn't come to work because you had the plague?

Why I Should be Ashamed of Myself

OK - I found this website and I think it's really funny. Call me crazy, but I think seeing a picture of Elijah Wood eating corn on the cob is good times! And there's more...