I Won A Contest Tonight!

I won my department's headline writing contest and I'm sooooo excited. I've been writing all my life so it's been a big adjustment in my new job because I'm no longer considered "the writer."

I get edited insanely at work - it's never in the right style, my headlines are bad. It's giving me a complex! Today we were given 15 minutes to write a headline for a story. Mine was the winner. I got a $10 Target Gift Card, but what's really great is the next time I get edited, I can say, "Who won the headline writing contest? Yeah, that's right. Me. Take that!" And then I can get fired and live happily ever after, basking in my one-time victory.

Idle Thoughts On Idol
I used this on my American Idol blog (it's under eljabo on the American Idol website, if you're interested) and was so impressed with myself, I had to use it again. Taylor Hicks rocked it - he's a phenomenal performer, he sang the heck out of his songs and I was thoroughly entertained!

Bear Eats Monkey
I just read an Associated Press article about zoo visitors in the Netherlands who watched in horror as a bear ate a monkey. (It included a picture, which made me very sad.) Can you imagine trying to explain that to your kids? (I don't have any, but if I did, we wouldn't visit the zoo ever again.)

One time, I was at the San Antonio zoo and watched as a group of parents and small children gathered around a monkey cage. The monkey came right up to the front of the cage, plopped down in front of the children and started masturbating. I've never seen a crowd leave so fast in my entire life (to the tune of 4-year-olds screaming, "What's that monkey doing, mommy? He's touching his privates!")

My Absolute Favorite News Story of the Day (Well, 2 favorites)

• Richard Goes to Jail - Richard Hatch of Survivor fame is headed to prison for 51 months. Do you think he'll be naked all the time there too?
  
  
• The "Free Love" politician - Costas Kyriakou of Cypros is running on a "free love" campaign. Best quote ever?

The men will see it as a system of free love, the women as a matriarchy ... they will be able to carry the sperm of the most handsome men, and give the child her name.

Maybe the Ohio candidates running for governor should try that! It'd certainly make going to the polls more fun!