"I Gave 35 Men Paternity Tests and Not One is the Father of My Baby"

My first vacation day is going swimmingly. The big excitement was going to the gym and going to Wal-Mart. Judging from the vast number of people in Wal-Mart, it was many other people's big moment as well. I also took a nap and read a couple of books (they were short - and one had big print.)

Yep! This is the life. Except I'm petrified I'm going to start asking random guys about taking paternity tests. After what I've seen on TV today, it seems quite the thing to do.

I Loathe Political Ads

Since I had such a couch potato day, I got the full-fledged view of political campaign ads. They are HORRIBLE. Today was the first day I paid attention to the "They Want to Kill Us" ad, a dreadful ad paid for by some right-wing crazy group. It basically says that terrorists want to kill us because we're American and they won't stop until we're all dead and the only people who can save us are Republicans.

Every time an election rolls around, we get bombarded with ads about how only Republicans can keep us from being attacked. That's bull pucky, as my dad would say.

Republican Mark Foley Will Keep Us Safe

Mark Foley is a Republican. Is he more qualified to protect this country than say, former Marine John Murtha, a Democrat? The truth is, we were attacked with a Republican in office, so how can they even argue they're the safer party?

Ugh. I hate election time. And politicians in general. Do you think they were born this sleazy?

Ken Blackwell Is Obnoxious

Here's my other beef. The Columbus Dispatch invited both of the Ohio gubernatorial candidates to fill out a stupid survey about who hogs the remote and who puts their feet on the furniture. Real pressing stuff, I know.

When asked what website they most frequently visited, Ted Strickland said 'Google' and Ken Blackwell listed some despicable anti-Ted Strickland website. It was really inappropriate (and the website is way amateur, so I'm not going to list it here.)

I would have been more impressed with Mr. Blackwell if he had listed a site with midget and poodle porn. You're telling me Ken Blackwell looks at an anti-Ted Strickland website more than he looks at the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, the Columbus Dispatch and the Cleveland Plain Dealer? That's just plain sad.