Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Doctor, Doctor Give Me the News

Let me start by saying I hate doctors - I used to date one...he was a dickhead & I haven't liked them since. Plus there's nothing pleasant about going into that white, sterile little room and putting on that disturbingly small paper outfit that always seems to rip in inappropriate places.

It turns out all my family members were right when they wagged their fingers at me and told me my iron was low because I eat lots of ice, have the body temperature of a reptile and look like Casper's twin sister.

It's totally not a big deal - all I have to do is take a multivitamin with iron. Who knows...maybe after a month or so I'll suddenly get a suntan or be able to stay up later than 10 p.m. (Although I vaguely remember a co-worker who took iron having some unfortunate bathroom-related problems - let's hope that was something unique to her!)

My doctor (who's a specialist) wants me to check in with my main, primary care doctor at some point in the near future. This happens to be a problem mainly because I don't have a regular doctor. I started looking for one today - apparently, finding a doctor who is accepting new patients is about as easy as becoming the next American Idol (yes, a blatant American Idol reference.)

Since when did new patients become the equivalent of doctor's office lepers? Aren't doctors supposed to help sick people - new or old? I'm actually a delightful patient - I bathe daily, I don't get sick often, I'm cheerful and I'll wait in the waiting area for as long as you need. One of the receptionists actually said "Um Dr. Stupidhead* hasn't seen new patients in a long time...your insurance website is just plain wrong." It's not like it's my fault my insurance changed and I need to find a new doctor. The receptionist acted like I was a crack addict looking for the next fix.

Luckily I found a doctor who can see me in March. Hope I don't accidentally sever a limb or develop a raging ear infection before then...

*name has been changed to protect the uber-busy

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