Tuesday, February 06, 2007

A Great Dane is a Horse, Of Course, Of Course

I live in an apartment - it has two bedrooms but is not really the largest apartment in the world.

My next door neighbor also lives in a two bedroom apartment that is not really the largest apartment in the world.

Yet, my next door neighbor seems to have a Great Dane or some other horse-like dog that comes up to my waist. She (the neighbor, not the dog) is about to experience the wrath of Laura because she doesn't practice good doggie etiquette. For instance, we live on the top floor and she lets her dog pee in the "breezeway" - heaven forbid someone is standing below. In addition, she does not feel the need to clean up her dog's messes.

There are other dogs in my building, yet I suspect it's the Great Dane and not the Pomeranian that is creating foot-wide piles of poop. It's making me want to throw up - and if I step in it, I may clean it up for her and leave the entire pile on her front stoop. (OK, I probably won't actually do that, but it's fun to think about!)

My Dating Hiatus

I'm on a dating hiatus. No more men for me -- possibly forever because I'm finding them that annoying. I really think it's impossible to find a normal, nice, funny, smart, semi-attractive guy in this town. Even if they seem normal at first, they turn weird within a month.

I just don't have the patience to deal with the weirdos I'm meeting - not to mention that it's seriously bruising my ego. (Come on...who admits to taking his sister to an S&M club to people watch? You can people watch at the grocery store.) Since work is going to be a complete and utter pain in my patoot for the next two months, I might as well focus on that. Otherwise, I'll get fired and I'll only meet other homeless people and that's not good for anyone.

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