Pardon Me While I Stick a Bag Over My Head

Let's just write this month off as one where I can't win. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, something I say is going to annoy someone. In fact, I think people are even annoyed by the way I breathe.

I'm just going to accept that I'm pretty much an idiotic clumsy buffoon and pray that there's a sophisticated, charming woman with exceptional social graces hidden somewhere deep inside me. Although I doubt it. If she hasn't appeared in the 30.5 years I've been alive, I doubt she's going to show up in the next 24 hours. I think I'm stuck with the buffoon. Oh well. Sometimes people enjoy spending time with idiot girls...

More Stuff I've Stolen From Max

Why think up my own crap when I can steal stuff from Max? (Although it is stuff he's swiped from other people...so all's fair online, I guess!)

Here's what to do: Google your name with the word 'needs' after it, e.g. "Michelle needs." Write down the description that appears. (It should say something like: "Michelle needs to shave")

Laura Needs

1. Laura needs to take better care of her own two kids
2. 25 cents and 2 fingers is all Laura needs. (I don't really know what this means - it sounds like it could be something pervy.)
3. Laura needs prayers again...ugh! (You're not kidding!)
4. Laura needs to kick Luke’s ass for essentially abandoning LuLu
5. Laura needs boyfriend & MS advice
6. Laura needs to stay & continue the storyline that could bring the Spencer clan together again! (Apparently a lot of General Hospital fans out there...)
7. Laura needs to get out more (Again, you're not kidding!)
8. Laura needs a new cell phone
9. Laura needs £3000 more for new legs (Will they look good in hot pants?)
10. Laura needs a hobby. (I guess this doesn't count.)

Ew - Loud Sex Couple Is At It Again

As I type this, I hear rampant moaning coming from below. Yes, the loud sex couple is at it again. I can't figure out why they're getting it on in their spare bedroom, as I'm assuming they have the same apartment layout as me. Kitchen, dining room table, sofa, washer and dryer ...those I'd understand. Spare bedroom...especially one the size of an airplane bathroom, not so much.

I feel a little depressed that I have no activities to share. I could maybe noisily eat popcorn or cough excessively. Maybe I should just jump on my bed and do some high pitched squealing so they at least think I have a more exciting life than I do...