Yippee -- It's Asparagus Season!

Asparagus is by far my favorite vegetable, so when I saw it wicked cheap at Kroger, I had to pick up a bunch. I vowed this spring, I would try out all the asparagus recipes I've saved up over the years.

The first one I tried was Asparagus Guacamole. (You basically substitute asparagus for avocado in a guacamole recipe.) I love asparagus, I love guacamole - what could go wrong? Apparently everything.

I will admit that the suckiness of this recipe may be my fault. I used a food chopper, not a blender so it was a little too chunky. I didn't have light mayo, so I used Wasabi GourMayo. I didn't have hot pepper sauce, so I used Buffalo Wing Sauce. I'm thinking it wasn't the wisest of flavor combinations. Particularly the Wasabi GourMayo. It's great on turkey - bad on asparagus.

Tonight, I brushed asparagus with olive oil, added salt & pepper and roasted it in the oven. Then I put it on an English muffin and topped it with a dippy egg and some freshly grated Parmesan. That actually gets an 'A.' It was pretty good!

Things That Aren't as Much Fun as Asparagus

• The Hispanic Cowboys are gone for good. The Hispanic Cowboys were 6 Hispanic men who shared a two-bedroom apartment on the lower-level. They were my version of the groundhog. Once they came back to town, I knew summer wasn't far behind. They were really polite too. I'll probably get more loud sex neighbors to replace them. Can't wait for that.
  
  
• This Week newspaper being put on my doormat, not hung on my door. This is a free weekly community newspaper that I don't subscribe to. I get it whether I like it or not. They used to hang it on my door, which was convenient because I'd grab it and toss it in the trash as I came into my apartment. Now they've started putting it on my doormat so I have to bend over to pick it up. I didn't want it in the first place and now you're making me bend over to get it off the ground? I usually have 18 million bags with me when I come home on Thursday nights, so they all swing off my arm and hit me in the face when I'm trying to pick up the paper. Delightful.



• Super buff gym freak girls who do extra sit-ups. I was next to this really annoying girl in my BodyPump class tonight who was really into her muscles. As I struggled to get my Stay-Puff Marshmallow body to do two crunches in a row, she's doing a zillion of them. On top of that, she's doing super-hard bicycle crunches really fast. It made me want to vomit. Actually, it made me want to scream out "At least I have boobs" but I figured it wouldn't make me very popular and it would obviously be because I was jealous and that's just embarrassing.