I'm Too Sexy For Latin Fusion

Today's Wednesday and you know what that means - Latin Fusion class at the local gym. For 60 minutes a week, I shake my goods around like a complete spaz - not even remotely keeping time with the instructor. For the most part, the ladies in the class have a sense of irony and can laugh at how ridiculous (but fun) the class is. Occasionally, we get someone who takes it very, very seriously.

One of our numbers is that 'Buttons' song by the Pussycat Dolls. You know the one:

Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours

I can see, just like most guys that your game don't please

Baby, can't you see?

How these clothes are fitting on me

And the heat coming from this beat

I'm about to blow
don't think you know

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)

But you keep fronting (Uh)

Nice church-goin' song there. I'm sure you can imagine the embarrassing moves our over-zealous instructor has put to this song - lots of rubbing of our bodies and lassoing the air. It's mortifying, really.

In the midst of one of my rampant cowgirl moves, I look over and this color-coordinated-from-head-to-toe young miss apparently thought our class was the actual audition for the CW's 'Search for the Next Pussycat Doll.' She was rubbing her chest and shaking her hips and bending over, giving herself the eye in the mirror over her ginormous cleavage. I'm surprised she didn't lick her finger and pat her behind, making a sizzling sound.

It was all I could do to keep from cracking up. The rest of the class is all shuffling around and rolling our eyes - Miss Sexpot is whooping it up. Ugh. Maybe this is exhibit 5 in why I'm currently boyfriendless...