Sunday, May 27, 2007

It's Still Here

Ugh - I thought someone had picked it up. Oh no. One of my neighbors simply kicked it off the sidewalk and into the mulch. I admit that's a better place than the sidewalk, but you know what's an even better place for it? The GARBAGE! Ugh. I'm about ready to put flyers under my neighbors' doors or even stick a big sign in the yard "If This is Yours...REMOVE IT."

Sadly, I'm in no way, shape or form ready to move right now so I'm stuck living in Condom City.

Embarrassing Library Encounters

On a completely different note, I'm currently on a books on CD kick. I love listening to talk radio (see exhibit 4 under why I'm currently boyfriendless), but NPR doesn't always deliver and I certainly don't want to listen to Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh. I even tried listening to sports radio, but since I'm not really into sports (except the draft anomaly), that phase didn't last long.

I recently checked out one of Al Franken's books on CD and absolutely loved it so I decided to check out a few more left-leaning political books on CD for my long car ride this holiday weekend. At the library, I always request my stuff ahead so all I have to do is go in and swoop them off the shelf. Sometimes they all come in at once, like this weekend, and it's a little embarrassing because I look like a book hog.

When I was checking out, I noticed I only had 5 of the 7 items I was supposed to have. I examined the shelves - no dice - so I asked a librarian. She exclaims, "Well sometimes if you have too many books, they don't all fit on the shelf so we have to put them somewhere else." Too many books - yikes! Now I felt like an ass...and it was only getting better.

Three librarians start trying to help me find my books. "Do you have Damsels Under Stress?" Trying to keep them from reading all my embarrassing titles out loud, I say "I have everything except the America book on CD and the George Tenet book." "Do you have Stupid White Men?" another one exclaimed. Then another one shouted, "I think she has Stupid White Men." I'm in Dublin, which is about as Wonder Bread as you could get - so everyone's staring at me and thinking I'm a Michael Moore lover. (I do enjoy the Moore, but not in a city where I might get lynched.) Finally, they find my stuff and I slink off in horror.


T said...

Perhaps "it" was left behind by the ducks after an Evening of Ribaldry.
Or, maybe its just one of the unfortunate byproducts of living in a condominium ;)

Jen G said...

If I had a twin, I'd make her get rid of "it!"

Dr. Tegenkamp said...

can I comment on a comment? Jen G, THAT was hilarious!

Plants rule!

Eljabo said...

OK - that made me spit out my water!