Tonight, I decided to try the Yoga 101 class at another 'branch' of my gym. By Yoga 101, you'd imagine it to be pretty basic, pretty easy for newbies to master. Yeah right. Think again. The instructor was rattling off poses left and right without even explaining them -- and they're all named after animals. "Now do the Frog. Now do the Fish. Now do the Cow." Everyone in the class - including some grandmothers - knew exactly what they were doing except for me.
I looked like a flailing amoeba the whole time. And some of those poses HURT. I don't think they're supposed to, but when you have the flexibility of a board, they're gonna. The whole entire time, I felt like I was playing a really annoying grown-up game of Twister. At no point did I feel zen-like and one with the earth. I was too busy craning my neck around to see what the heck was going on to feel relaxed.
Annoying Moms Bug Me
I ran to CVS on my way home for some Biore pore strips (a girl's gotta take good care of her pores!) As I was checking out, the lady beside me was throwing a fit because she had picked up Cherry Coke Zero instead of Cherry Coke by mistake. She had two kids with her - a girl who looked about 13 and a boy who looked about 8.
She rambled on about how she would never, ever let her children drink diet anything because it's so bad for you. I admire her conviction, really I do. I just thought it was funny that she was basically campaigning for mother of the year because she didn't let her kids drink things with artificial sweeteners, yet she had no problem letting her kids drink regular Cherry Coke. A bottle of that stuff has 260 calories and no nutritional value whatsoever.
If she were really trying to be health conscious super mom, she would be giving her kids a bottle of Dasani instead of contributing to the childhood obesity epidemic. In fact, her daughter was even picking out a candy bar - talk about sugar overload. I almost wanted to say something, but I somehow managed to button my lips. Otherwise you would have heard about me on the news...