Thursday, June 14, 2007

Working Out With The Freaks

I had my beloved BodyPump class tonight. My regular instructor was on vacation, so we had the Three Stooges instructing us instead. Here's what they were like:

#1) The Pale Bald Dude - If Moby and BatBoy reproduced, they would have created this anemic, freaky-looking instructor. He couldn't even do all of the lunges and spent most of the time in back of the trio making faces and chortling.

#2) The Weirdo Soft Talker - This chickadee was whispering into her microphone - you couldn't hear a word she said. She also had a problem with explanations. Mainly because she gave none. She had us do a bicep routine we've never done before. Instead of giving us advance notice of the moves, she would whisper them as we were supposed to do them, so everyone was offbeat. When we told her we couldn't hear her, she turned the music way down low. I felt like I was in the library.

#3) The Man Woman - She looked a great deal like my 6th grade gym teacher - Miss Rich. She (the instructor, not Miss Rich) was super strong and barrel shaped (kind of like the ant I saw yesterday), but she had a squeaky cartoon character voice. The main problem I had with her was the fact that she was wearing a workout skirt. Not a skort, a SKIRT. She's up on a platform in front of the entire class working out in a mini-skirt. Every time she bent over, I was petrified she was going commando and I'd see her hoo-hoo. Luckily, everything stayed put...for the most part.

I would also like to share that if you wear just a sports bra to work out in and it only has spaghetti straps and you're a D-cup, it's not all that much enjoyable for the rest of us.

I'm Becoming a Kitten Mommy

I'm adopting two little kittens from a local vet's office. I got to meet them today and they're super cute. They've got crazy wild cat fur and they're bouncy and insanely active. I'm getting two sisters - one has way too many toes on her two front paws and looks like she's wearing mittens.

Here's my dilemma. I am CRAPPY at picking out names for animals. My two hamsters were Fluffy and Squeaky. I never really named my guinea pigs (I usually just called them Sweetie Pie and Cute Face, but the official names were Brownie and Blondie.) I briefly had a chinchilla named Peanut. I have no idea what to call these cats.

I'm thinking about Beatrice for one - and my boss suggested Hester for the other one. (I always liked The Scarlet Letter so I might be down with that.) But - if you have any better names, let me know. I like giving animals human names (as you can tell by what I named my rodents - very human-like name.)

Maybe I can name one 'Princess Too Many Toes' - that sounds kind of Native American !


T said...

what happened to the chinchilla?

laura ingalls said...

how about Polly (for polydactyl)

or nancy and nellie from little house on the prairie (or maybe that's setting yourself up for headaches)

PumpkinHead said...

how about SpyMommy and Robo-Francie?

jupiterhollow said...

how 'bout Rose... and Sadie?