Saturday, August 11, 2007

God Bless Starbucks!

Or any other coffee I don't have to make...

I had to run some errands this morning, so I picked up my Burger King coffee before hitting up Kohl's and Giant Eagle. Have you ever noticed that Burger King has the unhealthiest breakfast menu on earth? There's nothing even remotely healthy. Like I should even pretend I'm going to get any nutrition today anyway - I'm headed for the State Fair for my performance and a deep-fried PB&J sandwich. Woo hoo!

Do you remember when you weren't allowed to take food and drinks into stores at the mall? You had to wait outside until you finished your soda. Now I can't imagine shopping without beverage. My coffee cup is a staple as I browse the racks. I just walk in ... brazen as can be... and if someone tried to kick me out, I'd throw my coffee at them! (Well...probably not.)

Eat Cookies, Get Big Boobs

My friend Stephanie sent me a link to this article about how if you eat two of these Japanese cookies, you'll bump your bosoms up to an extraordinary size. I don't know that I ever want to be an 'F Cup,' but it's nice to know I can. I wonder if the cookies are just so loaded with fat, they expand you all over? For instance, you'll get ginormous breasts, but it comes with a fat ass and flabby gut.

I'll have to look for these when I'm in Japan. Then I won't have to sew pads into my belly dancing brassiere. We decided at dress rehearsal that if you can rest your chin on your cleavage, your girls are exactly where they're supposed to be

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