So I was at home last weekend, happily trying to help my bimbo score more Bimbo Attitude on on the Miss Bimbo website, when someone knocked at my door. I was fresh from canvassing so was hoping it was a political volunteer of some sort. (What can I say? I LOVE being surveyed.)
I peered through the peephole to find some skinny 20-something yahoo in a Superman t-shirt and baggy jeans. He didn't look like anyone I was friendly with, so I decided not to answer the door. Then he says "I can see you" in a sing-song voice. I'm not sure how he could have seen me, unless he has x-ray vision to go along with the Superman t-shirt. I don't think I have a reverse peephole - according to Seinfeld, you need special installation for that.
Nonetheless, I felt guilty. I spent the afternoon canvassing and hated it when people looked out the window at me but still pretend like they weren't home. I opened the door a crack. He says "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm doing a personal development project where I have to go door-to-door to meet people to get over a fear of public speaking. I'm glad you're not old - I've had to meet a lot of old people. This will only take a few minutes."
I've had these "personal development" people stop by before. They usually want me to buy magazines. I'd heard enough so as soon as he paused for breath I said, "Sorry, I'm just not interested." He looked crestfallen and said "Are you serious" and I shut the door.
I feel a little guilty, but I didn't want to open my door any wider and I didn't want to buy something or write my name down on a paper some scrubby dude was carrying around. My mom was, of course, appalled that I even opened the door. "On Oprah, these women who were raped all got raped because they didn't want to be rude," she said. That's a cheery thought!