They Walk Among Us

Last Saturday, I went to the gym to run.  Urban Active has an awesome indoor track that's perfect for someone like me who's afraid of falling off the treadmill.

My gym also has a lot of meatheads.  Luckily, they mostly cluster in the burly boy free-weight section and I don't have to pay too much attention to them.  It's way too much testosterone for me - all that sweating and grunting.  Blech!

When I was running, I noticed that the worst meathead offenders were making their way above ground to my running track.  It was like seeing moles in broad daylight - odd, scary, jarring.  Or, to those of you who went to Otterbein, it was like crossing the Great Salad Bar Divide!  (YIKES. I managed to stick to my side for four years!)

The meatheads who invaded my turf were the Terrible Trio. It doesn't matter what time of day or what day of the week I go to the gym, they are ALWAYS there.  They must be professional workout people or something.   Maybe they lift cars for a  living.

One guy is very Italian Stallion esque, with long hair like the 90s band Linear and thighs the size of tree trunks.  The other dude wears homemade air-conditioned shirts (t-shirts with the pits cut out).  Finally, the last one is a she.  This chica wears hot pants and sports bras every day.  She has He-Man arms and looks like a gladiator.  

I thought the Terrible Trio was headed my way to run and was mildly impressed that they were going to move all that bulky brawn. Oh no, they came up to do walking lunges.  I realize that walking lunges are a fantastic way to tone your thighs.  However, it is slightly creepy to see three gladiator'esque peeps carrying massive weight belts, gallons of water and do walking lunges all in a line as you slog by them.  (I've decided slog is a slow jog - and that's what I do.)

I had an epiphany at the gym.  I don't want to put that much effort into my body.  I will be perfectly satisfied weighing the most I'm allowed to weigh for my height.  I also don't care if some of my parts jiggle.  I just want to be healthy and have time do other stuff besides working out. Good gravy - it's not that much fun.