Monday, August 24, 2009

Amusement Parks Are So Amusing

Simon and I headed to Kings Island on Friday for a day of frolicking fun and fantastic festivities.

The first thing we did was ride the Diamondback -- fun for Simon, petrifying for me. We got assigned to the second row. The seats are staggered so no one was in front of us, which meant we were technically sitting in the front row. The first hill is a vertical climb a million feet in the air and the first drop feels like it's going straight down.

I was convinced I wasn't strapped in sufficiently, so for the first climb I fretted about what to do when I fell out. Should I hold on? Try to climb back in? Luckily, I stayed put. Instead of executing my exit strategy, I simply yelled my head off. It was a pretty cool coaster, though - very smooth!

My favorite coaster was Invertigo - you go back and forth through giant loops and dangle in the air. I was a little alarmed because giant farmer boys were sitting across from us and I thought they were going to puke. Luckily, that also didn't happen.

I also loved the Beast - that's a heck of a long coaster and so fast!

The best part about Kings Island is that there's an attached water park and it's included in the admission price. We went on water slides and jumped around the wave pool. The only thing I didn't like was standing in front of young college girls in teensy weensy bikinis with concave stomachs who did nothing but complain about how fat they are. Puh-leaze.

It's been awhile since I've ridden a water slide and I forgot how to land properly. Even though the water was only three feet deep, I sank so fast I thought I was going to drown and have to be rescued. That would have been embarrassing!

We also got to enjoy the yummy Smurf ice cream - it's simply called blueberry ice cream because smurfs are uncool because they're old and decrepit like me (sorry - I have a birthday coming up and it always stresses me out because I realize I'm not getting any younger. No Benjamin Button here!)

Although we had a great time at the park, we did pick the Sean Hannity day to go, which meant there were annoying conservative Republicans everywhere, along with Billy Ray Cyrus, the Charlie Daniels Band, Lee Greenwood and some other dude I can't remember. They were all wandering around with their flag clothing and anti-Obama shirts, riding on their scooters. I wanted to punch them. I'm sorry, but there's nothing patriotic about people who are forced to go bankrupt or die because they can't afford medical treatment. It's easy for people who have health care to say they don't want reform. Not so easy if the shoe's on the other foot...

Welcome Frank August!

In happier news, my friend Amy finally had her baby, Frank August! She texted me that her water broke at 10:30 p.m. on Friday night; he was born at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday afternoon. That's a lot of labor!

He sounds like an adorable fellow and I can't wait to meet him!

No comments: