Friday, May 07, 2010

A Close Encounter of the Naked Kind

Dear lord. For those of you who read my blog to put your own lives in perspective, THIS will give you some perspective.

Simon and I have an alarm system on our condo. We hooked it up shortly after I moved in; we had noticed our next door neighbor had a giant piece of cardboard instead of a front window. She also seems to have 500 children, so it COULD have been an errant toy, but it's better to be safe than robbed or dead.

Normally when you come into the condo, a pleasant beeping greets you. You enter the code. Life goes on.

This morning, Simon forgot his phone and came back inside. Immediately, the alarm starts wailing. He enters the code, turns it off and leaves.

A few minutes later, my cell phone rings. (New Kids on the Block - Step by Step.) It's the alarm company. They want to know if everything is OK. I say it's fine, my fiancé accidentally set off the alarm but we turned it off. No worries.

Then the dude asks for the code word. Unfortunately, I was not aware there was a code word. (I know what it is now!) I said I didn't know the word but I could call Simon and find out and call him back. He asked me if the alarm was still going off and if I was home. I said no and yes. He said, "Oh, OK - have a good day" and hangs up. I thought that was the end of it.

I hopped in the shower and was happily shaving my legs with my new Skintimate shaving cream. I may even have been singing some Lady GaGa. Suddenly, I hear a pounding on the door.

I wrap myself in a towel, run downstairs and peer through the peephole. There is a police officer there. "Shit," I said and turned off the alarm. (I'm sorry...I know I could have said 'crap' but there was a police officer and I was wearing a towel. That calls for 'shit.')

I open the door. He takes one look at me dripping in the doorway in a towel (it does cover more than a bathing suit, I'll have you know) and says, "I'm sorry sweetie. Your alarm went off." I said, "Yeah, my fiancé set it off." He said, "Everything OK?" I said, "Yeah" and he went on his merry way.

You just know he went back and told all the guys at the station all about the lady in the towel. Undoubtedly, I will soon become a party story. Although, I suspect many of my most embarrassing moments have been part of someone else's party stories...

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