My Shopping Adventures

I hit up JC Penney's with my mom on Christmas Eve so I could find a pair of jeans that fit my giant fat arse.

As I was squeezing my fat fanny into a pair of jeans, I heard three women come into the dressing room. One exclaimed: "Oh Sally, I love your coat." The other said: "Thank you - size 4, I got it at Macy's."

Then Sally tried on clothes and I swear she managed to get the phrase "Size 4" into the conversation at least five times. "Oh - these size 4 jeans are just a little too big." "It's so hard to find those in a size 4."

One of the women told her that she thought she needed to eat more. She said "I'm a size 4, it is what it is."

I wanted to crawl under the fitting room stall and force feed her Dunkin' Donuts.

Then I was browsing another section of the store and overheard a man accosting a woman outside of the dressing room.

Man: "What size do you wear?"

Woman: "I'm not telling you what size I wear."

Man: "I'm shopping for my wife and she's about your size."

Woman: "Your wife probably takes a L."

Man: "Well, she likes her clothes a little snug."

Woman: "Well, I like my clothes a little big so I get an XL, but your wife probably wears a L."

Man: "She weighs about 150 pounds."

Then I couldn't hear anymore of the conversation.

I feel bad for that poor woman - who wants to have their husband blabbing their weights around JC Penneys? And honestly, I don't think 150 lbs sounds like a L - more like a medium, or maybe even a small depending on her body type.