Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Let's Talk Babies

No -- I'm not preggers! You won't be hearing any news on THAT front for quite a few months. And just for the record, you will never read the words "we're trying to get pregnant" on this blog. I think it's just gross to inform everyone you know that you're having lots and lots of sex. Co-workers have told me that they were trying to conceive before and I swear the imagined image got burned into my retina, where it exists to this day.

To be more specific, I'm talking fat babies.

I read a news story today that said babies could be considered obese at 9 months old! I realize that we are a diet/fitness obsessed culture (as well as the most obese...go figure). Do we really need to extend this obsession to babies?

Personally, I think there's nothing cuter than a pudgy baby with dimply elbows and cankles. And even the fattest babies can turn into perfectly svelte toddlers.

What's this going to lead to? Are stores going to stock up on diet baby formula? Will mothers be in a competition to see which baby wears the smallest diaper? (I think the preemies will win!) Will Parent magazine start featuring cover stories like "Help Your Toddler Lose Six Months of Clothing Sizes in Six Weeks"

I think this is an impending sign of the apocalypse.

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