Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My Lovely Lady Parts

Yes, I know Fergie was singing about her lovely lady humps, but I'm talking about the whole kit and kaboodle.

Yesterday, I had my annual lady doctor visit. Since I was at my lady doctor's office, there are usually preggers women hanging out in the waiting room. I sat directly across from an incredibly slender woman with a large beach ball-sized baby bump protruding from her abdomen. She was effortlessly chic and apparently about ready to give birth at any moment. Her husband /boyfriend was with her and he kept kissing her baby bump and cooing at it.

I wanted to yell for them to get a room, but apparently they already have. Just for the record, I will not be effortlessly chic when I am 9 months pregnant. I will be large and in charge and I imagine very sweaty.

The actual exam, as always, was very enjoyable. Nothing like exposing your entire downstairs under florescent light while your doctor wears what looks to be mining equipment on her head. Plus, I always enjoy the lovely in-exam chat "I'm pressing on your uterus right now." Great. All I can say is I'm glad my job does not involve sticking my hands up women's hoo-has.

I actually really like my doctor a lot - it's just an awkward exam. Since I'm married now, we discussed family planning. She said when we're ready to make the attempt, we should just relax and go for it. She doesn't want me using any ovulation test kits or thermometers or anything like that. She said some women come in with a three-ring binder filled with all their temperatures and cycle info. They actually project manage their pregnancy. That sounds exhausting to me. Plus, isn't attempting to get knocked up supposed to be the fun part?

Don't worry. There aren't any little Eljabos on the way at the moment. You'll be the 20th to know when it happens!

1 comment:

Shannon said...

Can't wait to hear news of any little eljabos!:)