Leave My Uterus Alone!

I just got an e-mail from TheKnot.com with the subject line: Pregnant? New Parent? Trying to Conceive?

When I opened it up, it said:

Believe it or not, it's already been six months since we helped you plan your dream wedding!

Did you know that our family of websites also includes two of the top pregnancy and parenting resources on the web?

So, apparently six months is the magic 'knocked up' timeframe, at least, according to TheKnot.

And, just for the record, I've checked out TheBump before out of mild curiosity. I thought TheKnot girls were snotty -- those TheBump bitches be crazy!

They write things like, "I woke up this morning and felt sick to my stomach. It's five days before my period. Do you think I'm pregnant" or "I'm 23 and have been trying for 3 months and I'm so worried that I'm not pregnant yet. I took my basal temperature and tested my cervical mucus and took an ovulation prediction kit and checked my fertility monitor so me and my husband are baby dancing (translation: banging) like crazy."

Thanks, but no thanks. My old arse doesn't need to be reading crap like that.