Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Dear Netflix

Dear Netflix,

I think it's time we see other people. It's not you. It's me.

OK, I'm lying. It's you.

When we first got together back in 2005, I raved about you. We had a lot of fun together. I introduced you to all my friends and family. We got more and more serious until I was getting 3 DVDs at a time, using the streaming service AND getting Blu Ray movies.

Then you changed. Suddenly I was going to have to subscribe to DVDs and streaming video separately and prices were going to go up 60%. But you didn't tell me directly -- you told the newspapers first. It was kind of like the time Matt Damon broke up with Winona Ryder on Oprah.

I felt betrayed. The honeymoon was definitely over. But we had a history together and I still wanted to try to make things work. But I couldn't help but begin to pull away. I cut back to streaming video and only one DVD at a time.

Then you threw a knife directly into my heart. You sent me an email and told me you were splitting into two: Netflix for the streaming, Qwikster for the DVD rentals.

What the what? I didn't sign up for a menage a trois. I thought we were exclusive. Now I would get billed twice, be forced to visit two separate websites AND manage two separate queues. Plus, I'd no longer get visits from the studly Netflix, I would get visits from the douchey sounding Qwikster.

No thank you.

Enough is enough.

RedBox has been flirting with me for quite some time -- the convenient locations, the instant gratification, the siren-like red lights, the cheaper prices.

Sure, it won't be the same. But over time, RedBox and I can build something special together and I'll forget all about you. Best wishes! Maybe someday you'll find that someone special.



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