Sunday, July 15, 2012

Feeling Like Superman

Simon and I joined our friends Liz and Matt for a fun-filled day at Kings Island.  It was not very promising at first - we drove through a torrential downpour (take that weatherman - 40% chance of showers, my arse) to get there.

We overcame some obstacles along the way. Simon caught me sniffing my armpits in the car.  (Isn't he a lucky fellow to be married to a classy broad like me?) The morning, uncaffeinated me is a little slow:  slow-witted, slow-moving - just plain slow. Apparently in my slow rush to get ready, I had forgotten to put on deodorant.  Simon caught me confirming that fact so we had to stop at a gas station to get some.

At the gas station, I was waited on by a person named Dakota.  I have no idea if Dakota was a boy's name or girl's name.  I also have no idea if Dakota was a boy or a girl.  Dakota had chin-length beige hair and glasses.  Dakota was shaped like an egg.  Dakota had a voice that was either high for a man or low for a woman.  Dakota had either small breasts or large moobs.  It was very perplexing.

Overall, Kings Island was a blast.  We rode quite a few rollercoasters and absolutely no spinning rides.  I think in my advanced age I'm even starting to find wooden rollercoasters too much for my delicate system.  I actually thought I was going to vomit on the Racer.  I also go to eat some of my beloved smurf ice cream.  (It's just blueberry now - but it was smurf ice cream when I went there for my first visit 20 years ago, so smurf ice cream it remains!)

My favorite ride was the new roller coaster - the Firehawk.  It was the last thing we rode.  We waited in line for an hour next to a man with no front teeth, a man who should have stopped at a gas station for deodorant and several hoochie mama ladies.

When you sit down, they recline your seats so you're lying down.  And then they flip you, so it feels like you're flying.  It was petrifying and amazing all at the same time. I highly recommend!

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