Good Times with The Cat-Folk

Right now, Zoe is underneath my chair rolling around a pencil. She's satisfied with the lead-filled goodness. (Oh wait, pencils aren't lead anymore -- graphite-filled goodness.) Daphne requires fancier items. Must be the extra toes.

I have a bowl full of cat toys sitting on the floor. I've been buying them extra toys lately to make up for my hellish schedule. Hmm...methinks my future children will be insanely spoiled. Neglected and spoiled - kind of a poor man's version of Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl.

Daphne is digging through the bowl to find the exact toy she wants. Picking toys up, tossing them out of the bowl. She finally selected a white fuzzy mouse with a reindeer head tail.

What made her pick that one? Why didn't she choose the stuffed stocking or long fuzzy squeaking green thing or the tiny catnip square? It's just so funny to watch - she knows what she wants and goes after it.

No More 4:30 a.m. Angst!

It's a wrap on my first-ever Columbus Adventure Boot Camp for Women! I'm a little bummed because it was so much fun -I had no idea my body could do some of the things it did.

If you had told 12-year-old me that one day I'd run on purpose, eat vegetables willingly, lift 10-pound weights or get up on a stage and bellydance, I would've laughed hysterically.

Here's how I improved over the 4 weeks:

• 40 push-ups in a minute (on my knees), compared to 31 in my first week
• One mile in 10:28 (all running) compared to 11:35 in my first week (run-walk).

My girth will be measured again next week. I feel a little better since most of the women said they didn't lose any weight either in their first camp, but they all lost inches. I think I'm most pleased about being able to run an entire mile. I seriously haven't run a mile since I was in the 7th grade.

What Happens at Night is a Mystery to Me

And in non-boot camp news, my apartment apparently turns into a big giant playground every night when I'm asleep - and I have no idea what goes on. Well, I guess I have some idea:

• At 2 a.m., Daphne decided to plop her big old butt right next to my face and purr non-stop.
• At 2:15 a.m., Zoe heard Daphne purring and decided it was lesbian sister cat nursing time.
• At 3 a.m., I was used as a catapult, with kittens springing off my butt and my head. Very enjoyable.
• At 4:30 a.m., I woke up with a yellow fuzzy cat toy in bed with me. (I guess there are worse things I could wake up with!)
• At some point, a long pole with strands of fabric on it was moved from my living room to my bedroom.
• Throughout the night, random pieces of paper were dragged out of various hiding places and flung around my bedroom floor.

And they say single women in their 30s who live with cats have no fun! Obviously, I'm a living example of fun!

Ah...the Joy of Kittens

I had to take mine to the vet yesterday for the rest of their shots. Of course, they played 'poor, tortured kitty' the whole way there and back - in fact, one of them was doing a Bea Arthur-esque yowl. It freaked me out. (I'm guessing the Bea wannabe was Daphne, as poor Zoe still can't meow. She can only manage a really pathetic squeak.)

Because I'm a sucker and felt bad they were jabbed with a needle, I decided to let them roam free last night when I was trying to sleep. We were drama-free for awhile and I was almost asleep. Suddenly, I heard a 'whoosh' and felt nails on my scalp. Zoe decided my head was a big toy that she needed to attack. It freaked me out! I removed her from my head and tried to go back to sleep. I was once again almost asleep when 'whoosh' ... she attacked my elbow!

At this point, I'd had enough. No more kittens in my bedroom until they develop daytime playtimes!

Boy Update:
So I found out what Mr. How to Lose a Guy in 5 (7?) Days wanted. He thought I'd help him find a job at my company since he lost his job. I'm officially banishing jobless, homeless, 38-year-old divorced men with 2-year-olds from my dating pool. (He kind of had a home, but he lived with his friend and his friend's wife. Like Dupree. And Corey Haim.) Please tell me what I was thinking!

I finally sent him a few job postings because I'm, again, a sucker for a sob story. Now he's pestering me to look up the managers for those positions and send him their contact information. Why would I do all this work for some guy who really wasn't even that nice to me? I'm not going to do it. Is that bad?

Eek! My Kittens are CRAZY!

So I finally picked up my two new kittens tonight. They're super cute, but I'm a little worried they're going to become brain damaged from running into my walls.

They've been chasing each other around non-stop -- running into my furniture, jumping on top of my furniture, knocking each other off my furniture... A couple of times they've jumped about foot straight into the air and one even did a couple of backflips.

I still haven't named them - so for now I'm going to call them the light one and dark one. (Their names are technically Janis and Aretha, but I'm not crazy about those names. Mainly because I want to say Urethra instead of Aretha and that's just gross.)

The light one has the extra toes and seems to be a little more fearless. The dark one is more nervous - she's a bit scared of me and keeps hissing at her new toys. 'Cause that ball of paper might really get her!

I'm almost afraid to leave them alone. What if they hurt themselves? I've posted some pics (as you can see - they're both in attack mode!)