Prepare to Be Horrified

I (unfortunately) found this article that shared all the different bugs that can be found on your body at any given time.

Ick - this is something I never, ever, ever needed to know about. Now I feel like my skin is crawling. Scabies, lice, bedbugs, bird mites - oh my!

Click here to read the article.

Just Because I Can

You've probably already seen this clip on the news, but I don't care. I get riled up when I hear women say they won't vote for Obama because he's supposedly sexist. Well, what the hell is this clip? I wouldn't exactly call this buffoon a feminist.



It's a pretty basic concept - if a company pays for Viagra, they need to pay for birth control pills. I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat, that's just basic common sense. If you even have to think about whether that's a fair idea, you're obviously a sexist pig.

There are legitimate medical reasons for women to be on birth control - it's not just about preventing pregnancy. In fact, most of the women I know who take the pill (me included) are on it for a medical reason. Thankfully, it's always been covered by my insurance! I don't think I could work for any other type of company.

Now I've Seen Everything

A Florida-based plastic surgeon has written a children's book called My Beautiful Mommy to help kids understand why their mother had plastic surgery.

I can just imagine how the conversation would go....

Mom: Well dear. I just couldn't imagine having Aunt Hortense's dreadful bumpy nose anymore. And while the doc was re-doing my face, I had him add a little pizazz to my lips. They look just like Angelina Jolie's!

Baby Gertrude: Don't I have Great-Aunt Hortense's dreadful bumpy nose too? It's ugly. I'm ugly. When can I have plastic surgery?

Mom: Oh no honey. You're beautiful just the way you are. The bumpy nose looks good on you. (But just in case, we're saving up for a nose job when you turn 18.)

I hate the idea that this book even exists - and I hate even more that people consider plastic surgery a normal thing to have. Just be happy with who you are - no matter how many lumps, bumps and wrinkles you've got.

I think it's amazing when you can look at old pictures of your relatives and find someone with your nose or chin. Instead of appreciating that shared history, it feels like we're sanitizing our culture. People would prefer to be bland instead of having quirks.

R.I.P.

Let's all have a moment of silence in honor of the Father of the Egg McMuffin, Herb Peterson, who died Tuesday.

Thanks to his creative ingenuity, we now have fast food breakfasts galore. If it weren't for the Egg McMuffin, we wouldn't have Croissan'wiches or French Toast Sticks or McGriddles.

The Egg McMuffin is my personal favorite - I love how the eggs are a perfect circle!

Run out to McDonald's and hook yourself up with a breakfast treat. The McDonald's here even serve lattes now! (Woo hoo!)

On a Toilet for Two Years?

Update: As I read more about this case, I feel awful that I even wrote about i. The woman obviously has severe emotional and mental issues. In general, I don't make fun of the mentally ill (note my recent lack of Britney commentary.)

To make myself feel like less of a tool, I'm going add some updates that answer the questions I had.


I just read the news story about the woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. By the time the boyfriend called the local authorities, the woman's skin had grown around the seat.

Let's all take a moment to shudder.

I can't imagine the level of butt numbness this woman had to have experienced. And let's be frank, toilets are not exactly the most comfortable places in the world to hang out. If you weren't bathing, the close quarters would make it a little smelly. On top of that, it's not the most scenic environment.

Here are all the thoughts racing through my head:

• Was there another bathroom in the house or did the boyfriend just go outside? They had another bathroom.
• Didn't he miss seeing his girlfriend? He came in the bathroom with her - they talked and ate dinner together - just in the bathroom.
• How long did her hair get?
• Did she ever get out of the bathroom and run around when he was gone? She did not leave the bathroom but did step away from the toilet.
• Why did he wait two years before calling the police? If you have to deliver meals to the bathroom, that's a bad sign people!
• Why didn't he break down the door? He was allowed in.
• Why didn't the woman get up once in awhile to stretch? She did.

Just Don't Make Me Scrub the Toilets!

A philosopher, Nick Bostrom, has come up with a theory that our society is a big giant Sims game. Yep - we're all computer simulations run by some pimply futuristic 13-year-old boy. No wonder I belly dance and have such a crappy love life!

Considering the delight I used to get out of torturing my Sims (way back when I had time to play these games!), I find this a little depressing. I used to make them scrub toilets. I used to get them knocked up by complete strangers just to have more hair color variety in my families. I made a couple get abducted by aliens. I think if we were living in a giant Sims game, my computer user would hopefully think of something way more exciting for me to do.

Click here to read the article. I can't remember if you have to register to read NY Times stuff. In case you do, here's the best stuff:

In fact, if you accept a pretty reasonable assumption of Dr. Bostrom’s, it is almost a mathematical certainty that we are living in someone else’s computer simulation.

This simulation would be similar to the one in “The Matrix,” in which most humans don’t realize that their lives and their world are just illusions created in their brains while their bodies are suspended in vats of liquid. But in Dr. Bostrom’s notion of reality, you wouldn’t even have a body made of flesh. Your brain would exist only as a network of computer circuits.

Boy Update: The 38-year-old guy who collects energy drink bottles and lives at home with his mom just asked me out again for this weekend. Why is it never the ones you want? I think I'm just going to say "no thank you!" like my friend Liz always tells me to!

My Booty is Tired of Shaking

I feel like all I do is rehearse belly dancing routines. I work, sleep and shimmy. That's about it. Luckily, after this Saturday's performance, I won't have any more for awhile. I can actually relax after work and on the weekends. Woo hoo for me!

Speaking of Bellies...

There has been a controversy in upscale Birmingham, Michigan about whether it's appropriate for a Middle Eastern restaurant to have a belly dancer come in one night a week and dance among the tables for 5 minutes an hour. Click here for the article.

My favorite line:

Although belly dancing has a hoochie-mama reputation among some non-aficionados

The first funny part of that is the use of 'hoochie-mama' in a newspaper article. I wonder what AP-style says about that? (For those of you who didn't study journalism or PR in college like me, Associated Press (AP) style is basically the law for journalists. It tells you how to use words and when it's OK to use them.)

The second funny part of that is that my hobby has a 'hoochie-mama' reputation. I had no clue! I'm actually more fully dressed in my costume than I am in a bathing suit.

Quote of the Day...

"I don’t think the phrase 'hung like a harvest mouse'
will be catching on any time soon."

Yes, that's an actual quote in this article on MSNBC.

Apparently size does matter to lady rodents because male rodents with long schlongs score way big with the chicks.

Makes you look at Disney World in a whole different light...

Quite Possibly the Cutest Thing Ever!

I just think this picture is adorable. There are two tiger cubs and two orangutan babies that have become best friends in an Indonesian zoo. Click here for more photos - and words too.

Side note: There is a THUNDERSTORM here in Columbus. What's up with that?