I'm feeling incredibly crabby right now. It's mostly because between the travel and my hobbies and my friends and my dates, I make it home to sleep every night and that's about it. My cats miss me so they're becoming holy terrors when I'm around. I don't have any food or beverages in my fridge. It's becoming a bit ridiculous. I feel like a bachelor.
I just have a hard time saying no so end up with way too much to do. Plus, I feel like I should do everything perfectly, which doesn't work out for me. Eventually, I scream at someone or start crying and make a giant arse of myself.
Case in point, yesterday I had yoga after work (which is NOT making me more zen-like). I ended up going straight from yoga to bellydancing . No time to pee or even eat. When I got to rehearsal, I was 20 minutes late and they hadn't even started. I was one of 3 people. I really wanted to practice Greek because that's my weakest number. Of the three of us there, we all do something different in that number. I need to see someone else doing the same thing as me or I panic and think something is wrong.
Finally, I just quit and walked off the dance floor. The other dancer said "Do you want to talk through the steps?" (Like I'm a beginner or something.) I end up being a complete brat, announce that had I known no one was coming I wouldn't have driven all the way down there and that it's not helpful to practice with three people doing three different things. Some newbie dancer was there and asked me if I had the steps written down because that helps her. I gave her a chilly smile and said I'd be fine. (I've done about 8 shows, after all!) After that, I just packed up my stuff and went home, where I drank wine out of the bottle.
Tonight, I had three hours of rehearsal. I got in trouble because apparently the white skirt I've been using isn't acceptable. Now I have to borrow some kiss-up's beige skirt. I hate beige. It makes me feel like this Laura W. girl I went to college with. (the flute player - remember her?)
I was so annoyed, I got a Thin Mint Blizzard from Dairy Queen and headed home to watch a Torchwood episode. I checked out the DVDs from the library and it's an AWESOME show. I give it rave reviews - and have a bit of a crush on Captain Jack.