We DON'T Wear Short Shorts

I've been mesmerized by the new Nair Shower Power commercials -- it works in the shower, lasts longer than shaving and bring silky-smoothness to my legs with its exfoliating micro-beads.

Yesterday, I was ready to buy refills for my beloved Venus Vibrance when my hand reached out instead to grab Nair Shower Power. Its quirky packaging and brightly colored sponge attracted me. I knew this product would change my life.

Yeah right. First problem - you have to use 1/4 of the container to cover your entire legs so it's not cost effective. Next, you stand outside of the shower for about 1 minute to let it soak in, which wasn't a big deal.

Then you have to stand inside the shower and do your shower business for at least two minutes and no more than 10. I don't know about you, but my shower business includes washing my hair, washing my person and shaving my legs. Obviously shaving my legs is out and washing my person has to wait until after I remove the Nair because it can't be mixed with bath products. Washing my hair sure doesn't take two minutes.

The instructions also say that although the Nair shouldn't wash off your legs if water touches it, you should still avoid having water hit your Nair-covered parts. How can you avoid having water hit your legs? I had to stand in the far end of the shower and bend forward to wash my hair. Not pleasant.

After the two-minutes was up, I started sponging off the Nair. (This is a very sexy entry, isn't it?) My legs were silky, but I think that was more from the exfoliating micro beads than anything else. It wasn't a great hair removal job. To top it off, it made my legs itch and I broke out in a rash. (Yes, I admit I should have done the patch test.)

Luckily, I found another Venus Vibrance refill in my suitcase, left over from my Japan trip. Now, that's something that will get me wearing short shorts!

So You Want to Smell Like Christina Aguilera...

I was browsing a celebrity gossip newsletter, as I do daily, when I spied a "news" item that Christina Aguilera was launching her third fragrance.

Her third fragrance? Who knew she had even one?

I'm sorry, but of all the celebrities I'd want to smell like, she isn't on the list. In fact, I think X-Tina would smell like a combination of stale beer, cigarettes, greasy hair and plastic. If I passed her in the street, I'd want to scrub her down with a long-handled soapy brush (or shove her into the nearest car wash.)

Perplexed by my lack of celebrity fragrance knowledge, I scoped out the details:

Simply Christina -- an oriental floral with top notes of blackcurrant, a heart of peony and prune (prune?) and a base of vanilla

Xpose -- this one is a bit of a mystery...I imagine it's the stale beer smelling fragrance

And the 100 Calorie Movement is Officially Over...

Personally, I think 100-calorie packs are the Snackwells of the current decade (whatever it's called.) Remember the fat-free craze of the 90s? We ate boxes of Snackwells' disgusting fat-free Devil's Food cookies, expecting to slim down only to find ourselves fatter than ever.

I think we've gone too far with the portion-controlled calorie packs when we're buying them for our pets. When I was at PetSmart the other day, I saw 100 calorie treats for dogs. And apparently, 100 calories is just too darn much because they also make 50 calorie Pup-Peroni snack packs.


WTF? Here are all the problems I see with this:

• The Doggie Calorie Conundrum
  
  100 calorie packs kind of work for humans because we have a rough idea of how many calories we should eat in a day. (I believe I get somewhere around 1,200.) I have no clue how many calories a dog is supposed to eat. Since regular dog food doesn't have nutritional information, there's also no way to see how the snack packs fit into the doggie diet.
  
  
• Definitely Not Green
  
  Yes, 'cause we need to add more wrappers and containers to our overflowing dumpsters. Where are dogs going where even need a snack pack? Doggie daycare? Are you going to pack a lunch-box too. It seems a lot simpler - and more environmentally friendly - to give dogs one or two treats straight from the package. Call me crazy.
  
  
• Fake Food for Fido?
  
  Are diet ingredients all that healthy for animals? They sure as heck aren't for humans. (I realize I have ingested more than my fair share of fake food and chemicals, but I figured the immediate benefits of not being morbidly obese outweighed the long term risk of the fake food.) I just can't imagine anything that has reduced calories in dog treats would be all that healthy for puppies.