I'm So Over Bossy Bellydancing Bitches!

I'm dancing at Comfest next Sunday. Every time I start prepping for a show, I remember I can't stand the women I dance with. There's just so much drama.

Let's get this straight. I am not a professional bellydancer. I have no interest in being a professional bellydancer. I have a busy job and do about a gazillion other things besides dancing. All I want is to put on some fake hair, fake eyelashes, a pound of makeup, a hoochie mama outfit and shake my butt on stage a few times a year.

I know over a dozen routines. Some I haven't performed since last summer. Most I haven't rehearsed since March. I'm going to be a little rusty on these numbers. Deal with it.

"Mirror, Mirror On The Wall. Who's the Most Fabulous Bellydancer of All?"

There's an incredible dancer in the show who has been dancing for decades and who can do things with her stomach I can't even describe. Her hair comes down to her butt and she wears low-cut shirts with a push-up bra. She spends most of rehearsal spinning around, tossing her hair and pouting in the mirror. She can pull it off - she's an award-winning dancer and a very attractive 40-something woman.

In this show, we have the group of teachers, who are obviously exceptional, and the group of advanced dancers (my group - yes, I'm considered advanced.) Pouty-lipped hair tosser kept staring at my group when we were dancing like we were big piles of dog poo that happened to get stuck on her shoes. She kept shouting the moves to me. I wanted to say, "Listen here Rapunzel - I know the damn moves. I just need to run through them once." To add to my annoyance, one of the girls a couple classes behind me says, "Oh - you only finished Shaba? I thought you were way ahead of me, but you're not." I wanted to smack her too. (I'm feeling violent today.)

Nervous? Moi?

I'm a little nervous about this show - mainly because we only get two rehearsals and we're doing Greek, one of my least favorite numbers. (It's long and the moves don't go with the music.) I signed up because I thought Comfest would be a relaxing crowd - plus, there are so many topless women walking around, who's going to look at me?

Days 4 & 5 Vegetarian: Still going strong - I've eaten tons of fruits and veggies this weekend. I made pasta with zucchini and fresh tomatoes and for breakfast this morning, I had eggbeaters scrambled with zucchini and a little goat cheese. Yum!